Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, \"Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?\"

When Mary didn\'t stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

\"God Almighty !\" shouted Mary.

The teacher said, \"Very good!\" and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, \"Who is our Lord and Savior?\", but Mary didn\'t even stir from her slumber.

Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

\"Jesus Christ!\" shouted Mary.

The teacher said, \"Very good!\" and Mary fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, \"What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?\"

Again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, \"If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I\'ll break it in half!\"

The Teacher fainted.

A man dials his home and a strange woman answers.

The man says, \"Who is this?\"

\"This is the maid,\" answers the woman.

\"We don\'t have a maid,\" says the man.

The woman says, \"I was hired this morning by the lady of the house.\"

The man says, \"Well, this is her husband. Is she there?\"

The woman replies, \"She is upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I figured was her husband.\"

The man is fuming and says to the maid, \"Listen, would you like to make $50,000?\"

The maid says, \"What will I have to do?\"

The man tells her, \"I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the witch and the jerk she\'s with.\"

The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots.

The maid comes back to the phone
\"What do I do with the bodies?\"

The man says, \"Throw them in the swimming pool.\"

Puzzled, the maid answers, \"But you don\'t have a pool.\"

A long pause and the man says, \"Is this 567-5309?\"

Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding

See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao

Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni

Your price is too high - No Bai Dam Thing

Did you go to the beach - Wai Yu So Tan

I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a facelift - Chin Tu Fat

It\'s very dark in here - Wai So Dim?

Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting?

That was an unauthorized execution.- Lin Ching

I thought you were on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone. - No Pah King

You are not very bright - Yu So Dum

I got this for free - Ai No Pei

I am not guilty - Wai Hang Mi?

Please, stay a while longer - Wai Go Nao?

Our meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao

They have arrived - Hia Dei Kum

Stay out of sight - Lei Lo

He\'s cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka

Does this bathroom stink! Hu Flung Dung?